As a young child, I had a very active imagination. I would tell stories on top of stories. Some stories would be to and with my new Barbie dolls, and others would be to my classmates. I would have one thing happen to me and then pile some little white lies on top to make it engaging and more enjoyable to my listeners. I knew that I was lying, but hey, what’s a girl to do when all she wants to do is talk and share her stories no matter how stretched out they might be. I remember a few years ago reading “The Year of Yes” by Shonda Rhimes and giggling so hard because she wrote about stretching out her stories as a child as well.
My storytelling began to advance from oral to written. I was now an author and illustrator. My works of art ranged from stories about Santa to kids solving mysteries around their neighborhoods. So, of course, when it was time to go to college, I already knew what I was going to be……. a writer! Fast forward to my super senior year of college, and I was nowhere near close to my dreams of writing. I was barely graduating college and had racked up so many outside opinions about why I shouldn’t or couldn’t be a writer; my dream buried underneath those opinions, comments, and criticisms.
But as dreams do, they rear their beautiful enchanting heads in many moments. I had visions about writing. People began to ask me to write and edit things. I woke up in the middle of the night with stories to tell. I even started a blog once or twice. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t fully commit or fully step away from my writing dreams. I took the shovel myself this time and buried them underneath my fears and other jobs, but in the back of my mind, the dream stayed because my body was its home, and I could try my hardest to fill the house with other thoughts, but my dreams still belonged with me.
At the age of 27, I finally had enough of trying on new dreams that didn’t belong to me, and I quit my job. Not only did I quit my job, but I moved to a different city. I knew that if I wanted to fully commit to my dreams that I also had to be wholly uncommitted to the things that I knew. As long as I was comfortable I would never take a risk as long as I had options to fall back on I would never be able to fully commit to the dream that has called me since I was a little girl.
So I packed my car and made my way to a new state and a new city. Leaving comfort and home behind me. And I was driving towards fears, dreams, and risks. When I arrived, let’s say that the nostalgia ran off instantly. I was homesick, having an identity crisis, and experiencing extreme depression. I had days that were so dark that I wouldn’t leave my bed for hours at a time and would begin to cry for reasons that are still unknown to me.
I began to ask myself what happens when the journey to your dream is dark and unsure, what should I do when I feel lost and helpless. I knew that the darkness would never survive my light, but I had faith that my light would always shine through the darkness. But at that moment it was much easier said than done. I always questioned myself. Was this the right decision? Did I jump out of the window too soon? Should I have prepared and researched more? Did I need more time? Why couldn’t I write?
Why couldn’t I create? Why couldn’t I get out of this dang on bed?!?
But I knew that this darkness could not last in my light forever. So I began to cry out to God and went on a three day fast. In my darkroom, in the middle of the night, I cried tears that could water the small creek that flowed through my backyard and asked for answers. I needed to know what to do. I needed to know that there was a purpose for this time. I needed to know that there was a purpose and a reason for me.
That very night He answered me and told me to reach out to women and hear their stories of how and when they were able to create their moment. And thus, my “Create Your Moment” series was born. In the next few weeks, I want to bring stories of triumph, perseverance, and overcoming challenges from women who were able to create moments of change and light in their life to develop exceptional and life-changing moments. I hope that when you read the stories of these amazing women that they encourage, inspire, motivate, and challenge you to create and push through your moments!
My journey to my dreams of being a writer has just begun, but I am so glad my light continues to survive and beat out darkness. Here is to another day of overcoming and just going for it! I can’t wait to share these stories with you.
All of the light,